How one feels about Mother’s Day really depends on your perspective. Perhaps your mother is no longer alive, and this day brings a lot of sadness. You may be estranged from your mother, or have a family that does not truly appreciate you.
It is probably a good time to reflect on the fact that how others may feel about us should not determine how we feel about ourselves. We must learn to trust ourselves and to validate ourselves, rather than wanting validation from others. Of course it is lovely if you are showered with affection and appreciation, but if you are not, it does not mean that you are less of a mother than those who are.
The path of motherhood is liberally sprinkled with joy and sorrow, hope and discouragement, laughter and tears.
It is undoubtedly the biggest challenge that a woman can undertake. It is a lifetime job from which you can never really take a vacation; you must be on call 24 hours a day. There is no formal job description, so anything and everything can end up in your lap.
Once the children are past the age of twelve (earlier if they’re precocious) you may be subject to daily performance evaluations.
Often you have to make tough decisions, where you have to balance the long term well-being of your child against his or her immediate demands.
If you’ve always dreamed of being the perfect mother whom your children simply adore, this is where you begin to lose it. It is the quintessential no-win situation, unless you have a highly unusual species of offspring who says, “Thank you so much for caring about me enough to set a reasonable curfew. I am so grateful that you don’t let me stay out as late as all of my friends…(Not!)
And being human, we will also make mistakes. We have bad days like everyone else, and sometimes vent frustrations on the kids. The point is that we are doing a very difficult job, and most of the time we are doing the best that we can.
So we must celebrate ourselves on Mother’s Day, whether or not anyone else does. We may be sad about some things, but there are many others for which we can give ourselves a big pat on the back.
No one else can ever know exactly what it has been like for us, or the true nature of our particular journey of motherhood. So sit back and reflect on the joys and the pain. It may not be, or have been, a storybook journey, but I’ll bet it was real. It’s the stuff of life, being a mother. So give yourself credit, not despite the differences, but especially because of them.
