Should we get a pet? Maybe the kids have been asking for a long time and the stock answer has always been no.
There are probably many valid reasons for this, including the fact that they may not take responsibility for it, and Mom will end up doing all the work; the cost of food and veterinary visits; and inconvenience when you go on holidays, to name a few. It is no doubt easier not to have pets.
It’s also easier not to have children. So why do people continue having children and pets? It has a lot to do with love, and our need to express the loving side of our nature.
Pets give a lot. Little children delight in the antics of animals, and learn about being gentle. As children get older, pets can become their most trusted companions.
Pets don’t hold grudges, are always happy to see you, and are good at keeping secrets. They can be especially therapeutic for children who are suffering from low self-esteem, or who are particularly shy. They also can help children to learn responsibility. They are a good antidote for a bad day.
They can also work wonders for teenagers. Pets bring out teenagers’ playful sides and the softer aspects of their natures. They have even been known to make some teens more sociable in the family setting. They can also help them to relax. (It should be noted, though, that teenagers can also make a relaxed pet hyper! )
So what positive things can pets do for adults? Many of the same things they do for the younger set, but in addition they can bring out our inner child.
Throwing a ball for the dog or playing hide and seek with the cat are great stress relievers. Pets continually ground us by bringing us back to the here and now. You can be worrying about bills or trying to do a dozen things at once, and a wagging tail or plaintive meow can cause you to take a break and focus on something concrete.
For anyone who lives alone or if the children have all grown and gone, pets can be a wonderful balm for loneliness. Their constant presence and unwavering loyalty can create a sense of security.
How does one make the ultimate decision given the pros and cons of this issue? Like any other major decision, it requires some research. Get as much information as you can from other pet owners, so you have a realistic sense of what is involved. Find out from a vet what kind of “maintenance” costs will be involved.
If someone in the family wants a pet badly, then it’s probably important. That is, if they seem quite serious about getting a pet over time, not simply expressing a whim with intensity.
Once you have this information, it’s time to get feedback from your heart.
Pets are like children in that they are a big responsibility, so you’ve got to really love them. If they’ll add more fun and joy to your life, go for it!
Gwen Randall-Young is an author and award-winning psychotherapist.
