If your female partner is harassing you, it could be a good thing. If she complains that she does not see enough of you, wants to spend more time with you, wants better communication and needs more affection, this means she loves you, finds you attractive and enjoys being with you.

Men often interpret these complaints as criticisms, whether or not they are presented in a critical tone. Even if they were levelled as criticisms, the bottom line is that she wants you.

Try to consider this as a compliment rather than become defensive. She is probably hurting, thinking you do not enjoy being with her.

It is important to address her concerns before she gets tired of asking and begins to give up on you.

She may be heading down that road if she would rather spend time with her girlfriends than with you; she tells her troubles to friends and family members before you; she no longer approaches you affectionately; she laughs more with others than with you; or if it seems you are leading separate lives.

If three or more of the above apply to your situation, your relationship could be in serious trouble.

It is time to ask her if she is happy in the relationship and what she needs from you to make it better.

If she does not want to talk, then going for couple’s counselling should be considered.

If she will not talk and refuses counselling to assist in becoming more connected, she may already have left the relationship — at least emotionally. This can leave a man feeling quite bewildered.

Talking to a professional can be the first step in figuring out what to do next.

Gwen Randall-Young is an author and award-winning psychotherapist.