A Victoria Police constable is doing a big service for the community by sharing his list of 10 things you shouldn’t do at a road check.

They are all real incidents that officers with the Capital Regional District’s Integrated Road Safety Unit have experienced.

One item on the list: don’t drive up with a crack pipe in one hand and a lighter in the other, especially when you have crack and heroin in your pocket.

Similarly, don’t drive up to the road check with a beer in hand, place it in the centre console, and proceed to deny any knowledge of the alcohol when you’re stopped.

Don’t switch drivers about 50 metres from the check stop, earning an impaired for both you and your former-passenger-turned-driver.

Don’t drive knowing you are prohibited from driving because of a previous impaired charge, then get busted and leave your wife and kids to walk home.

I’d like to add a few of my own, inspired by news stories.

The first is from right here in the Nicola Valley and featured in a story from right here in the pages of this paper: don’t speed up through a road block set up specifically to stop you, evade a spike strip, and ditch your stolen vehicle further up the highway.

The next comes from the Lower Mainland, where last week firefighters and paramedics responding to a medical emergency had to deal with a driver so set on his end goal that he actually honked at an ambulance blocking the street while emergency services workers tended to a 90-year-old woman in medical distress.

The 25-year-old driver and drove around the scene, even after a firefighter tried to stop him, allegedly even clipping the firefighter’s hand in the process.

What was the driver in such a rush to do that he couldn’t stop for emergency workers at the scene of an emergency?

He wanted to get a sandwich.

Meanwhile, police in Minneapolis, Minn. could (facetiously) warn criminals to lock their phones before committing crimes after a pair of would-be burglars pocket-dialled 911.

The accidental call led police right to the suspects.

The burglary attempt and ensuing arrests happened, ironically, on April Fool’s Day.

Those in the process of breaking the law or planning to break the law should also probably avoid posting on social media.

Last month, a Facebook post led to the arrest of a bank robber in Michigan after he posed in a picture with a submachine gun and clothing matching those of the suspect in a high-profile heist.

Police in southern Indiana arrested a man for illegally brewing and selling liquor from his home earlier this month after he posted a picture of a distiller on Facebook.

Over the years, Facebook posts have led to countless charges, including extremely serious ones such as terrorism, soliciting sex from minors, distributing child pornography and even murder.

Sadly, no matter how many wacky stories come out of police, paramedic and firefighters’ books, there will never, ever be a comprehensive list of what not to do as people will never stop surprising one another.