Love is in the air in this month especially and in order to coincide with the spirit, this piece is primarily directed at younger people just married or contemplating it.
One of the most misunderstood and faltered areas in the life of a young believer in the Lord is the whole issue of marriage.
It is not surprising that Satan hates Christian marriages centred in the will of God and tries hard to prevent a believer to marry according to God’s good and perfect will.
He tries so hard that he will not give up till he can at least tempt a person of faith into settling for the second best.
It is through a godly marriage that our heavenly Father can effectively further His Kingdom. The Bible talks about qualifications of a leader with respect to a man or woman’s marital relationship.
Marriages conducted in the godly way is satisfying than mere pleasure or fun associated with it. Here are some questions and answers which should clarify the misunderstanding regarding the second-most (next to salvation) important life decision.
What is marriage?
It is a unique relationship that calls for a level of maturity and intimacy leading to the union of a man and a woman to be one flesh (Gen. 2:23,24).
It’s a relationship so holy that God Himself compares it with His relationship to the Church (Rev. 19:7).
The Old Testament gives many references to God’s relationship with His chosen people as His bride. In fact, marriage forms the most important part of God’s creation story.
Jesus’ ministry started with the miracle at a marriage party in Cana (John 2:1-11).
Jesus used marriage illustrations in many of his parables (Matt. 22:1-14; 25:1-13).
Why do people marry?
It is not good for a person to be alone (Gen. 2:23,24).
To receive favour from the Lord (Prov. 18:22).
It is in accordance with God’s sovereign will (1 Cor. 7:28).
To avoid temptations of flesh (1 Cor. 7:35,36).
To enjoy the rewards of marriage in the form of children (Psalm 128).
To understand the intimacy in human relationship that God desires from us.
On the other hand, we should be aware of some good reasons why marriage should not be undertaken. These include:
To get a beautiful or well-placed partner that would make us feel proud.
In order to take pity on a person’s social status.
How does a believer find the right person to marry?
A person who is born again, has the Holy Spirit living in him. The Spirit leads and guides him. However, the inner man, the heart, is always in conflict with the guidance He provides.
Paul spoke about his conflict in the book of Romans, chapter seven. It is, therefore, important for every young believer to allow the Holy Spirit to rule the decision about his or her marriage.
Marriage is intended for a lifetime and our decision will be binding on us for years to come. Marriage is not a habit that we can break just by deciding in a moment of indecision.
It is a very responsible relationship that calls for unconditional commitment.
God has revealed His will on marriage in very clear and simple terms: Do not be unequally yoked. What has darkness in common with light?
We cannot seek God’s blessing upon our marriage if we want to marry a person who still has not accepted the Lordship of Christ.
In non-mechanized societies, whenever a farmer goes to buy oxen for tilling his land, he checks whether the pair of oxen can be equally yoked.
First, the farmer looks for the oxen, then he looks for feasibility of yoking them equally. Only when they are matched, he goes ahead and buys the oxen pair.
To draw a comparison, believers marrying unbelievers is like a farmer going to yoke an ox and a horse together to farm the land. It sounds stupid, but that’s what it is.
Many try to work on relationships in a reverse manner. They get involved in relationships that are not in accordance with the basic will of God and then plead with God for salvation of their prospective partners.
God wants our relationships with Him to be in right order first before He can start blessing us with answers to our prayers.
How do we avoid casualty in seeking life partners?
The first thing is to commit our decision to the Lord. The Bible tells us to guard our hearts for it is the well-spring of life.
Also, as the heart is most deceitful of all things, it is important to seek confirmation from parents and mature Christians.
Our heart can falter as it can be influenced by things that we allow our mind to be fed with.
The secular world talks about two people marrying after they have “fallen in love.” God’s view in this regard is quite opposite.
He wants us to grow in love rather than “fall.” We fall in love because of our emotional needs, but we grow in love because of God’s leading.
The world is promoting relationships of convenience rather than commitment; infatuation rather than reality; loose rather than lastingly meaningful.
A Christian marriage, centred in God’s perfect will, will be a source of inspiration and support in the troubled difficult times that would, without fail, hit the couples.
When we are ready to marry, we should sit in the Lord’s presence for leading and guidance. Learn to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s voice.
Our God has promised to lead us if we wait upon Him (Psalm 32:8; Jeremiah 33:3).
Narayan Mitra is pastor of the Merritt Baptist Church and Chaplain at Thompson Rivers University.
